Eleventh: Exhaustion

I am entirely exhausted. I don't know why, because I've been getting normal amounts of sleep, but I feel like every single part of my body can hardly hold itself up. Working together to keep me moving is just unheard of for my poor system. The sensation of hovering on the brink of exhaustion is not one that I've had in ages, but this week, it's back in full force. In fact, I've been so exhausted that when I began writing this entry on Wednesday, I fell asleep in my chair, too tired to finish it. Still, I don't think lack of sleep was the problem. My body simply required a bit of down time for recuperation.

It's now Saturday evening, and I'm doing my best to get back in the swing of life before Monday bowls me over in a little over 24 hours. I went to bed last night with nary a stitch knit. I needed a moment away from my Fetching gloves, my current project, so that I could regroup and approach the creation of the thumb hole (something I'd not officially done before) with a clear head. I knew when looking at the instructions that "Using waste yarn, k7; slip these sts back to left needle and k them again using working yarn; work in 4x1 Rib as set to end" was not some curious, heretofore unseen code sent to trick me, and yet I - who know that I am no dumber than the 2,723 ravelers who have currently made Fetching gloves - could not seem to put my spatial brain to work deciphering what to do next. So I rested a bit past here (but this was the last picture I took, so this is what you'll see). And I read. And I came back to the Fetchings tonight, and they're glorious. They're done and beautiful and blue and I covet them. Of course I covet them, because I have it in my silly head that I'll be making 3-4 pairs of them before Christmas comes (ha!). The pair I just made, I think, will be for my sister-in-law. I still have machinations to make them for Jesse Dear's sister, Carter, his mom, Lois, and perhaps my own sister and mother. Though, I did find some pretty earrings that I think would suit my sister. They're handmade by a co-op of women in Nepal, and I think she'd like them. At least, if her style is still what I remember it being, she will. I also have a secret knitting-project in the works for my mom, so I might just stick to that for her this year.

Really, I'm nuts, and I'm toying with further exhaustion if I don't pare down my knitting expectations. The problem is, I can't make for my sister-in-law without making for my brother, just as I can't make for my mother without making something for my father. I wish things like small knitted ornaments appealed to me, but they just don't. They feel like knitting time wasted to me, even if it's just an hour of time wasted. So, for now my expectations are thoroughly out of control. They always are, you see. That's a bit of my personality that I'm still working on coming to terms with. I'm adapting to it and wrestling it into manageability, so I'm sure it will be okay.

To further our theme of exhaustion for the day, it's 1:40 in the morning, and I have nowhere to sleep. My bed is covered in freshly laundered clothes and the new bedspread set that I have yet to unpack and put onto the bed, and my sofa-bed is covered in Christmas ornaments, which I spent the evening sorting and examining for their thematic appropriateness for the direction in which I want to go with this year's tree. I've generally been a very traditional, red and gold Christmas tree kind of girl, but this year, I'm all about the peacock colors, as well as a bit of icy blue and green. It'll be beautiful, you'll see. You'll see because I finally have a digital camera cord with which to show you. Oh, we are in trouble.